To get here, there has been a slow, jerky climb. Even when we weren’t sure what we were doing, the designer’s system pulled us ahead – inch by inch. The weight of what is to come falls off as the designer funnels our focus. We have faith the design will bring us to where we are meant to be but no one here on Earth can see what will come next.
We know there is a descent ahead. We know that when we plunge over, our stomach might fly up in our throat a little or we might forget to breath. We may rise off our seat a bit or get held down by a strong force pressing us into an unknown. But not right now.
For we find ourselves in that pause at the top.
Every millisecond seems like hours. So many questions for the designer, they come out rapid fire. How did we get here? Where are we headed? Will everyone be ok? How do we soak up everything about our loved ones and focus on this second right now? We pray constantly for memories to lock in our hearts that can be brought up when what is next moves from future to the present. Grandpa’s eyes show us our family’s past. We deposit his smiles and his tears as we say so long for now. We soak up the youngest generation: dancing, laughing, loving, and sparklers under the big top. Each hug is put into muscle memory, in case it is needed here for them or there for us. We even want to hold on to the awkward silence for it understands the love is great and the distance will grow soon.
Above all, we look up and praise the designer for His design that included this pause. While we prepare to hang on for our life, there is a calm for the designer has redeemed this moment as His. So we open our eyes, throw our hands up, and praise God for right now…this pause at the top.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10